This afternoon as I am reflecting on the day I am overwhelmed with emotions. God has been so good to me and my family. He has given me a wonderful Godly husband and these three beautiful children. What is overwhelming to me is that He loved me so much He sent His only Son to die on the cross so I can have eternal life. I can't imagine. God is so good!!!!!!!!Happy Easter!!!!!! He Has Risen!!!!!!! Thank you Lord for sending your son to die a horrible death so I can be set free.
Many people have asked me over the last few months if I have journaled about our experience with Logan. My answer has been NO. I was only able to take a few pictures at the hospital and that was only when my mom told me I would regret not having any pictures of him. I felt that if I wrote down what was happening and how I felt about it then it would be real. If I took pictures of how horrible my newborn looked than it would become real. I just couldn't face it.
This past weekend I was at a friends house and her wonderful Godly mom made me watch a video that had the testimony from one of the "Women of Faith" speakers. She spoke on how at 15 days old she lost her daughter and how through that whole time she wasn't able to speak or write about it. She couldn't even bring herself to go to the hospital and say goodbye to her daughter when the doctors called and said she wasn't going to make it. She spoke about how this time was such a regret for her.
This testimony really hit home for me. She told of how God wants us to walk through our experiences. He gives us these things in life to experience not to walk around. The Lord talks about how we are to go through the the trails of life and he will walk with us. He does not want us to go around them because then we won't see the Glory and purpose that God had for us and others through these times.
WOW, what an eye opening day for me. I want to be able to walk through all of my trials in life with the Lord right there by my side.
Yesterday was the day, we had to be at the hospital at 7:00 to check in and have Logan drink something that smelled like grape juice. His actual test wasn't until 10:30, so the poor little guy had to go a long time without eating. His actual last real feed was at 4:30. The test occurred at 10:30 and I handed my precious little boy over to a nurse who said we will come and get you in an hour. An hour later they came out and said he is waking up and we can come and see him. We had to stay at the hospital till 4:30 so he could be observed to make sure he didn't have a reaction to the anastisouse. During this time I was able to visit for a few minutes with my wonderful friend Abby. It was nice to see her in the cafeteria and catch up for a few minutes.
We left the hospital and went to get our kids at my friends house in Beaverton. While Ryan and I ran into the house to grab the kids I left my cell phone in the car. The doctor told me it would take a few days to get the results back, so I didn't even think of grabbing my phone for the five minutes we would be in the house. Well, of course while I was in there the doctor called and left a wonderful message. The liver did not show any signs of cancer spots. It looks like it is doing a wonderful job of regenerating itself. He doesn't need to see us for two weeks. He wants to repeat an ultrasound in a few months, but he was very happy with what he saw. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last night I went back again to feeling like my little guy was just a normal little newborn with a few issues that includes adorable baby acne.