Growing Deeper

I am in a very intersting place in my life right now. I have a wonderful husband great kids, an awesome church, beautiful friends. With all of this said I think God is saying Kristan you aren't were you need to be in your relationship with ME. I feel God tugging on me and saying Kristan you aren't bringing me completly in to this wonderful life I have given you. I have been very convicted on the amount of time I give to the LORD. How can I excpect to grow deeper in the Lord if my time is not given to Him. Now that my bed time is earlier, and my brain is no longer clouded with caffiene I feel that I am going to run with this feeling and take a spiritual inventory. My prayer is that God will open my eyes and my heart to put my focus on HIM. To focus on where my daily priorities are and how they fit into this deeper relationship with the LORD.

Morgan's wonderful week

Wow!!!!!!! My little princess continues to grow up. As I have said many times I am having a really hard time with my baby growing up. I'm sure it boils down to the control that I want to have over her life. As she gets older I am losing more and more of that control. I have given my children over to the LORD many times. I repeatedly say to myself, they are not your children Kristan they are God's. Well, these words keep getting harder and harder as they grow up.
This week Morgan had a very exciting week. She reached to major milestones. The first occurred on Friday at school during chapel when she received a certificate in front of the school that she was caught being good. This certificate is like getting student of the month. Three other kids got this award and at some point in the year all of the kids will get one. But, for this day and this moment I felt like my daughter was the center of the world. I of coursed had to fight back the tears as I watched her go up on stage and get this award. I waved and smiled and made a complete fool of myself, but I didn't care!!!!!
The second milestone came on Saturday when she lost her first tooth. This was a huge deal because alot of her friends have been losing teeth for a while. Morgan has been really excited for this moment to happen. I think she has been playing with her teeth for the last six months trying to get one to fall out. Well yesterday was the day. She told Ryan and I that her lose tooth had to come out. She went in the bathroom and came out with one less tooth. Of course I cried again for this step in her life.
My prayer for this little angel is she will continue to grow in the Lord and strive to be the best Godly women she can be.
Thank you Lord that I have been able to experience such a wonderful gift on earth.

The Journey of a Caffeine addict

Well the journey has begun. I feel as though I have had a very successful week with my goals. Getting to bed earlier and eating less at night have been a success. The other goal I had for this week was to start to cut out my major caffeine addiction. Ryan and I are MAJOR addicts. I don't even want to confess how much coffee and soda I drink in a day. I decided that I would allow myself one soda a day around 3:00 when I really crash. I'm still asking myself why I decided to cut myself off by that much. I think the correct way to do it is to slowly go off of it. But, no my all or nothing personality thought I could just drop it down to a little 12 ounces. The week has actually gone really well till today. At 10:00 I called Ryan with a very important question, "Please tell me now why I should just not drive myself through Starbucks." He calmly talked me down from my craziness and told me that I CAN DO IT!!!!!!! I thought that was all it would take. It wasn't I went ahead and had my soda then. You would think the story would be uphill from there. It wasn't I was so foggy. My poor friend Abby had to help me do my work at the church because I couldn't focus. She even witnessed me handing my son a pair of sharp scissors. I really do not like myself this way. So by 4:00 I was onto my second soda. I have confessed to my husband and now I am confessing to all of you. I am hoping that it is out of my system and I am back to one a day by tomorrow. This blog is written to all of you caffeine addicts out there. Please enjoy a cup of coffee for me.

Reflection

I feel like I am a little behind the game with this post. Most of you wrote on the first the many changes you wanted to see made in 2007. I knew that many changes needed to occur, but I wasn't sure what yet.
Well, I think I am seeing the light. One of the biggest changes that needs to occur is in myself. I am tired of always being tired!!!!! I don't want to be like a million other Americans that join clubs and try every game in the book. I want to have a whole lifestyle change.
It's funny because of working in the weight loss industry for twelve years I should know what to do. I think most of us know what to do, it's just doing it. For years I would tell my clients that they needed to change their whole lifestyle for them to be successful. That usually meant every aspect of their life needed to be evaluated.
I feel like this is the process I am in right now. I know of some changes that need to be made for sure.
The first major one is staying up way to late at night. Ryan and I love our late nights this is our time. The problem is it is really makeing us both suffer when his alarm goes off at 5:30. So, my first solution to this is to stay up only a few nights a week later and see if this makes a difference.
The other problem that comes with these late nights is eating. Ryan and I also love to eat together on these late nights. It is very unrealistic for me to say I won't eat at night, but it is realistic for me to say I can chose healthy choices at night.
So this is the begining of my new lifestyle change.
Thank you all for begining this journey with me.
I'm sure that I will have many more borring post to follow about this whole new "LIFESTYLE".

God is Good

Alright the pity party is over, for now!!!!!! No, I really do feel much better. Last night I went to a sing and prayer time at church and I was really rejuvinated. What better way to get over myself. How can I be focused on myself when I am focused on the LORD? How can I sing HOLY, HOLY, HOLY is the Lamb, and be focused on my self? GOD IS GOOD!!!!! I am so thankful that God is patient with me even when I don't deserve it. GOD IS GOOD!!! I am so thankful for my wonderful husband who is always wise with his words even when I don't want to hear them. GOD IS GOOD!!!!! I am so thankful for my church and the wonderful women's ministry they have. GOD IS GOOD!!!!!! I am so thankful for the beautiful friends God has blessed me with and that I can praise the LORD with them. GOD IS GOOD!!!!!

Christmas is really over now

Today was the day that Christmas was officially over. I find myself very sad tonight as I drove my mom to the airport. I keep hoping this sadness will get easier over the years, but so far 1 1/2 years later it has not. I feel like such a big baby missing my mom so much, but the feelings are real none the less. I think of myself as always trying to be a positive thinker but for some reason this area is really hard for me to be positive about. That is the pity party that I am having for myself tonight. My prayer is that tomorrow I wake up and remember this wonderful life I have in Salem. I have a wonderful family, awesome friends, a great church, a beautiful home. All of these things were given to us because we followed the Lord's call for us to move here. I am going to allow myself a little more crying tonight and I just pray that you all will hang in there with me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

WOW!!!!!!!! That is really the only word that I can use to describe the last two weeks. We had such a wonderful time with my family in town. We are so blessed to have wonderful family. I love my brother and his beautiful family. I don't think I can ever get enough of my three adorable neices. I love my sister and her beautful family. My nephew is so cute that he makes me want to have ten more children.
I think the other word I would use to describe our two weeks is CRAZY!!!!!!! We started out the trip with a broken back window in our Expedition on the holiday weekend and we ended the trip with everyone managing to get the stomach flu and horriable colds. Through all of this we still kept our perspective that we were only together for a short time and enjoy that time (even if you are throwing up).
Everyone but my mom left today. I feel an extreme since of saddness. I am prepared for this because I knew I would feel this way.
I am ready to jump into this new year and make a few changes. I'm not sure what the the changes are going to be so you will have to stay tuned, but I'm sure they are going to be good ones. I'm sure that some new clothes are going to have to fit into those new changes.