So I have been debating the last two days whether I wanted to share this story or not. I finally came to the conclusion that you all have gotten to know me by now and will see the story for what it is worth.
Here it goes, I would not consider myself an angry person, but when it comes to parenting I have been known to raise my voice a time or two. A few nights ago we were at the dinner table the kids were done eating and Ryan and I were just sitting there talking over the day. Morgan was sitting at the table listening intently to our grownup conversation about who knows what. Brandan had decided that he needed something upstairs, so off he went to his room. A few minutes later I hear, "Mommy, I had a big potty accident." I jump out of my chair and start running up the stairs as I am yelling loudly, " YOU KNOW BETTER, GET IN YOUR ROOM." He is by this time crying loudly, "no spanking mommy." (for the record he has NEVER gotten a spanking for having a potty accident). I clean him up and we talk about the problem and we are happy again.
The evening goes on and Ryan says, "I need to tell you something, while we were downstairs when you were changing Brandan after his accident Morgan said that when she becomes a Mommy she will not yell at her kids when they have accidents. As tears come to my eyes, I say, "OH NO."
I felt horrible!!!!!!!!!
Then it dawned on me, I could use this as a great lesson. (I think it is the home school coming out of me, that everything is a lesson, right Leslie?)
I called Morgan in and asked her if she was upset with my reaction to Brandan. She said yes. I explained to her that I shouldn't of yelled at Brandan, but I already apologized to him. I then reminded her of all the times that she has yelled at her brother. I asked her to think about how angry she was and how she yelled. So, next time you get angry you remember how you felt when Mommy yelled at Brandan. The point was well taken and she told me she wouldn't yell any more at him.
That lesson lasted at least an hour before she yelled again.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Leason Learned?
Posted by Happy McNally Mom at 2:26 PM
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6 comments:
You ARE a true homeschool mom, Kristan:) I always think object lessons are the most powerful learning tools. This is one I will probably use with my own kids when they are yelling at each other.
Thanks for sharing this, because it helps me to know I am not the only one that ever yells at my kids. In fact, more than once I have said a swear word in front of them. Yep, it's true! (Sharon, do not use this in my reference for camp please!)
Excellent lesson--for everyone, it seems! You're a great mom! And I think it's important for our kids to see how we can honestly deal with our human-ness!
Thanks for finding the courage to share. I remember one time looking at Zachary and telling him to shut up. He had pushed me too far and I let my emtions take over.
Of course Zachary is an easy target, the enemy knows it. So many times I have had to apologize to him and Josiah.
And for me it hurts, because I hear Josiah talking the same way to Zachary that I do. Cringe. So many times I have to back off, take deep breaths and ask God to help me. But there are those times I choose not to do that.
This is a hard one, thanks again for sharing. Remember, it's not just our kids who are learning, we are too.
I know you are a great mom for your kids and that your heart is right. But hey, who doesn't get a little over emtional about potty accidents, they are no fun to clean up. Love you.
Oh Kristan, I'm so glad you shared this. I've been so ashamed of myself. Luke was going through this phase a few months ago. He kept wetting himself and just kep right on playing. I would notice he was all wet or worse step in a puddle. I tried talking, reasoning, bribing. One day I had had it. He peed and I blew up. I hauled him into the bathroom and was yelling at him. Then the postman rang my door. Instantly I thought, "What is the postman going to think?" Can you believe that? I was more concerned about what a complete stranger was thinking about me than what my own kids thought! UGH!!
You are a great, loving mother and your kids will recognize this. If they learn to be better people by seeing our faults, then so be it. Lesson learned, your right!
THANK YOU for sharing. I want so badly to use my words correctly when Daniel gets older. I have no personal example - except in you! Thank you again for sharing!
I find myself often in the same position. Not usually for potty accidents, I have been blessed in that area. Tabitha rarely has accidents. However, Cody still has plenty at night and I get so frustrated. Yelling is the where I think I get attacked by the enemy. It happens way to often. I blew up recently and realized, I just needed a hug. Now when Tristan is having issues with Cody and starts yelling. I just hug him. It is a good way to calm him down.
Thanks for sharing. It helps to know we are not alone.
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